The first time children are left at nursery school, it is debatable whether the sobbing of the kids is worse than the guilty faces of the parents leaving their children alone for the first time. There is little reason to worry however. The adaptation of the kids to their new environment can be less traumatic than it appears.

There are different ways of tackling the imminent big day. This will of course depend on the age of your child and whether you have previously left him or her with grandparents or strangers.

Between four months and one year
When they are so small the separation is almost harder for the mother than for the child. The babies cannot rationalise the positive things we tell them at such a young age, but they do sense external calmness or worry when confronted by changes. For this reason, try to be calm this first day and transmit security to your baby. Try to keep their time in the nursery school to a minimum the first few days and increase the number of hours gradually to help your baby to adapt.

Take their favourite toy to the nursery school so that they feel close to home. When you pick them up spend plenty of time with them and try to make them see how happy you are at the way they are adapting to their new surroundings.

One year onwards
Your child is now more aware of all that surrounds him or her. For this reason, you have to give them better explanations of the changes that are going to occur.

A few days before nursery school starts, take them there and, if possible, introduce them to some of the teachers or carers. Tell them that nursery is like going to the park, full of children they can play with.

A few days before, try to get them used to their new timetable. You should avoid waking them up abruptly and leaving the house in a hurry. Make sure they sleep enough hours but wake them early so that they can breakfast calmly. Try to avoid rushing the first few days as this could make them even more nervous.

If they are over three years old explain to them that mum and dad have to go to work and that their small duty is to go to nursery school.

When it comes to saying goodbye, don�t give in to their crying. It is an easy recourse for all children but if you give in the first day, it will be very difficult for you to persuade them to stay in the future. Calmly tell them that the place is completely safe. Above all, say goodbye before leaving. Some parents prefer to slip away but this is not advisable because children may feel abandoned when they go looking for their parents and can�t find them.

Finally, convert them into heroes when they return home. Pay plenty of attention when they tell you about everything they have done and about their new friends. Make them feel important for having got through the day and explain to them why they have to go from Monday to Friday.

A final piece of advice is to keep in constant contact with the teachers and carers. They will tell you how well your child is adapting and whether there are any problems to overcome.